ATTENTION PLEASE:
LORNE MICHAELS (PRODUCER, COMEDIAN, DIRECTOR, SCREENWRITER, EMMYS, MARK TWAIN PRIZE WINNER, NET WORTH 500 MILLION/CONGRATS ON 50 YEARS OF SNL. THE SHOW THAT GOES ON AND ON. AS A FELLOW MEDIA ARTIST, GROWING OLDER HAS GIVEN ME MORE THAN MY SHARE OF WORRY. NO ONE SHOULD BE HOMELESS, ESPECIALLY AT MY AGE. AS THE WHEEL CONTINUES TO TURN, THE STUFF AROUND THE NERVE ENDINGS ARE WORN TO THE BONE AND THE FATIGUE CAN BE SEEN IN MY EYES. YOU COULD DO SO MUCH TO REMEDY THE INJUSTICE LIFE HAS COLLECTED FOR ME BY CLICKING ANY YELLOW DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE. IT'S NOW 11:30!),
RICHARD BLADE (FORMER LOS ANGELES RADIO AIR PERSONALITY/IF YOU DON'T SHARE THE STAR ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME, HOW ABOUT SPARING A DONATION FOR OUR OBVIOUS NAMESAKE WITH A BROTHER BROADCASTER DICK?),

WILLIAM JAMES MURRAY (ICON, COMEDIC GENIUS, ACTOR, SNL ALUMNI, MARK TWAIN PRIZE WINNER, CHARISMATIC FOLK HERO, NET WORTH 180 MILLION/YOU'RE A GREAT HUMAN BEING AND EXCEEDINGLY DOWN TO EARTH, ALWAYS THERE TO PITCH IN WHEN LEAST EXPECTED! I'D ALWAYS TREASURE A "RUN-IN" WITH YOU TOO. BTW I SAW YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS VIDEO MIRAGE, HENCE WHAT'S UP WITH THE "YOU JUST MISSED BILL" REPLY? SHAME YOU DON'T READ YOUR EMAILS PERSONALLY, AND WHY YAHOO WHEN GMAIL IS SO MUCH MORE SECURE? JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'D BE MOST HONORED TO HELP IN ANY CAPACITY I CAN, MOST LIKELY SKILLED AMATEUR, BUT YOU'RE NOT ALONE, SPEAKING OF NEEDING HELP. AFTER NOT SEEING MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, BEING THE DOWN TO EARTH GREAT HUMAN BEING YOU ARE, REMEMBER ME BILL WHEN YOU CAN WITH A TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATION BY CLICKING ANY PAYPAL DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE, OR I CAN EMAIL A PAYPAL MONEY REQUEST INSTEAD FOR WHATEVER AMOUNT YOU SPECIFY TO HELP OUT A FELLOW CITIZEN STRUGGLING WITH HOMELESSNESS AND MS. NEXT, BY SHARING YOUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER WITH ME, I CAN CHECK UP ON YOU FROM TIME TO TIME SINCE YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO ME WITH YOU BEING IN SOUTH CAROLINA BESIDES. I'D EVEN BE WILLING TO MOVE TO YOUR AREA IF YOU COULD USE A COOK'S HELPER OR DISHWASHER AT ONE OF YOUR RESTAURANTS. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT I'D BE HIGHLY INDEBTED IF YOU CAN HELP ME OUT FOR NOW),
DAN AYKROYD (ACTOR, COMEDIAN, PRODUCER, SCREENWRITER, MUSICIAN, ENTREPRENEUR, NET WORTH 250 MILLION/PLEASE, AND I DID SAY PLEASE, HELP ME TO FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD FOR A WHILE BY CLICKING ANY DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE AND SHARING THE WEALTH. I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN YOU CAN MANAGE ABUNDANTLY BETTER THAN A GHOST OF A CHANCE!),
MICHELLE PFEIFFER (ACTRESS, PRODUCER, ACADEMY AWARDS NOMINEE, NET WORTH 250 MILLION/YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVORITE ACTRESS BAR NONE. I OWN A BUS STOP SIZE POSTER OF CATWOMAN THAT I WOULD TRULY LOVE AUTOGRAPHED BY YOU! I ONCE WROTE TO YOUR AGENT TRYING TO FIND OUT IF YOU MADE PERSONAL APPEARANCES THEN LEARNED YOU ARE AN EXTREMELY PRIVATE PERSON. THE NEXT BEST THING WOULD BE FOR YOU TO MAKE A DONATION NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL BY CLICKING ANY DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE, AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE YOU DON'T WALK LIKE A DUCK!),
WOODY ALLEN (DIRECTOR, FILMMAKER, ACTOR, COMEDIAN, NET WORTH 140 MILLION/LOVE ALL OF YOUR FLICKS, AND WHILE I'M NOT A HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR, I STILL HAVE A CROSS OF MY OWN TO BEAR IN TERMS OF PRESENT DAY SURVIVAL. PLEASE MAKE A DONATION TODAY AND HELP THE COMING DAYS PASS A LITTLE SMOOTHER. BEHATZLACHA),
LIAM NEESON (ACTOR, ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE, GOLDEN GLOBE, TONY AWARD WINNER, NET WORTH 145 MILLION/YOU MUST BE FORKLIFTED A LOT OF STUFF FOR NOTHING THEN. HOW OFTEN DO YOU GIVE BACK? SPEAKING OF ROLLER COASTER RIDES, MY TORTURED EXISTENCE HAS MOSTLY BEEN DOWNHILL FOR YEARS NOW. TODAY COULD BE THE DAY I LIVE AND DIE. SO YOUR TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATION TO MY PAYPAL ADDRESS BY CLICKING ANY YELLOW BUTTON WILL GIVE ME SOME MUCH NEEDED BREATHING ROOM A LITTLE BIT CLOSER TO SECURING MY OWN HOME ADDRESS. JUST NOT IN IRELAND),
TOM HANKS (ACTOR, DIRECTOR, PRODUCER, NET WORTH 400 MILLION/LIFE MAY BE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES TOM, BUT I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO GET IF FOLKS LIKE YOU DON'T STEP FORWARD AND HELP LOOK AFTER SOMEONE LIKE ME. ONLY ASKING FOR A HELPING HAND, NOT A HANDOUT BY DONATING. THEN MAYBE THIS TOO SHALL PASS),
JEFF DANIELS (ACTOR, COMEDIAN, TONY AWARDS NOMINEE, NET WORTH 45 MILLION/OMG, YOU'RE JUST 9 DAYS OLDER THEN ME. YOU ARE ONE OF THE FUNNY ONES BY FAR, AND I LOVE RV. PLEASE DO ME A HUGE COURTESY BY CLICKING ANY YELLOW DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE. GUARANTEED NO ONE WILL THINK YOU DUMB OR DUMBER FOR IT, NOT WHILE I'M ALIVE AND KICKING!),

CHRISSIE HYNDE (SINGER, SONGWRITER, MUSICIAN, GRAMMYS NOMINEE, ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME INDUCTEE, NET WORTH 12 MILLION/AS A FORMER RADIO PERSONALITY, I'VE ATTENDED MANY OF YOUR CONCERTS, AND I TOOK THE PHOTO SHOWN BY THE STAGE AT ONE OF THEM. BORN IN CLEVELAND OHIO UP YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS, HAVEN'T READ "THE BHAGAVAD GITA", BUT DO CARRY AN EMPTY COKE BOTTLE IN EACH HAND WHEN GOING OUT ALONE AT NIGHT. IF I SPOKE FRENCH, I'D ASK YOU TO PLEASE HELP ME OUT WITH A DONATION BY CLICKING A YELLOW PAYPAL DONATE BUTTON ON THE PAGE. IN ANY LANGUAGE, I'D ASK THE NICEST WAY I KNOW HOW),
AMONG THOSE WHO HAVE DONATED TO WORTHY CAUSES,
AND ANYONE ELSE READING THIS WHO WOULD LIKE TO SPREAD MORE LOVE BY BEING A GIVING NEIGHBOR, PLEASE HELP ME BY DONATING TODAY !